It Is All For You-Goodbye Haiti.

Hate saying Goodbyes. I love my sweet Camalla!

 Genesis 28:15 "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Yesterday was an amazing last day in Haiti. It was so great to start off our last day by worshiping with the Haitians at Church. As I was holding these two precious girls hands, looking at them all dressed up in their cute dresses, I just thanked God for giving me the opportunity to be here. The team went to the front of the church and said a big goodbye! We sang a song in creole in front of everyone. I will never forget that moment of looking at all the haitians singing to God in their language. It seemed not to long ago when we attented our first service and sang "Our God Is Greater." I was trying to cherish every second of the day and take little snap shots in my head of all the moments that humbled me. It was extremely hard to say bye to all the families, and kids after church. I held those little angels for as long as I could yesterday after church and when I went to the village for the last time. It broke my heart to see their faces when I said "Mwe alle deme" ( I leave tomorrow). When I said bye to the kids, I squeezed each of them so hard and told them that I love them and WILL BE BACk. Camalla just kept saying "Wi" (yes) after everything I said. Although I cried a little bit, there was a huge sense of peace that I felt as I reminded myself that God planned when I would come to Haiti and when I would leave as well. I will miss many things and will never forget hearing their sweet voices call me, "Camen." I spent my last night at the compound on the roof looking up at the stars, talking to God about all the emotions that were running through me. As I could see Port au Prince all lite up in the far distance, it was a perfect moment to remember that God makes beautiful things out of dust. He uses broken places and broken people to make beautiful things out of us as well. I am extremely blessed to have had God reveal so many things to me through this incredible journey.

I am now back in America! I dont think it has really hit me yet that I will not be sleeping in the compound tonight, going to the village later today, and seeing my angels. It has been the most beautiful and also challenging 5 weeks of my life. We are all staying in Florida for 2 days for a debriefing-a time to pray, to reflect back on what we experienced, and to discuss how to adjust being back home. Ive already experienced culture shock. The drive from the airport to the hotel was so smooth, I washed my hands with soap and water, I can understand people, and the water is not salty. Its hard to wrap my mind around being surrounded by mud hutts and then in the same day im back in America staying in a 4 star resort. Its a lot to take in, a lot to think about, and a lot of change.

Love this precious boy. 

The devotional out of Jesus Calling could have not been more perfect for what I am feeling today. I wanted to share it with you.
"Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nore before you. Instead focus your attention on Me, your constant companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey. I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldnt bear to see  all your life at once, Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you, Refresh yourself in my company, breathing deep draughts of My presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you wherever you go."

You Have Made Me New

2 Corinthians 4:5-9 "For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ our Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let the light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed." 

It is hard to believe that I only have 2 more full days here in Haiti before we go back to Florida for the debriefing. Part of me feels like I have been here forever, and the other part of me feels like it has gone by fast. We have begun the process of saying our goodbyes. Yesterday was the last day to play with the kids during their recess, we will say goodbye to the University students when we go to Port au Prince today for the campus crusade weekly meeting, and we will say goodbye to all the kids and families once we spend a full day with them tomorrow. I am trying to just soak everything in. Its is quite overwhelming. 

Yesterday, we went to Pastor Piers house in Port au Prince and had a pool party. We road in the back of a pick up truck on the way there and back. It was crazy!! We have driven through Port au Prince so many times now throughout these 5 weeks, and everytime we do, I get even more overwhelmed of the things I see. I know God has taught me many things from seeing such poverty and destruction. 

When we got back to the compound I walked to Chambrun. As soon as I entered into the childrens home, the kids ran up to me yelling, "Camen, Camen!" all reaching their arms out for me to hold them. Its crazy to see how much they love you even though you hardly can communicate with them. They are amazing and have touched my heart in more ways than I could have imagined. Those moments make it hard for me to feel ready to leave. But I am reminding myself that God planned when I would come here and when I would leave. His timing is perfect. God has blessed my life in so many ways by bringing me here and He has really used this experience to help shape me into the woman He has called me to be. Please pray for me as I finish out this God given journey. I cant believe my twin sister is coming to Haiti today! Even though we are in such different areas in Haiti, it is amazing to know that we are both here for 2 days. Please pray for her as she is about to start her own experience that will change her life. 

All my love, Cam. 

Unbreakable Love

When I went to the village the other day I showed the twins (NuhNuh and Leh Leh) a picture of Brooke and me. They were so confused at first but then started to understand that she was my twin! It was so cool to show them who my other half is. They looked at the picture for the longest time and carried it around with them the whole time I was there, it was so cute!

The wonderful Levinton and Staniel. 

 Going to the village today was one of the most memorable days I will have. After singing the Justin Beiber song "Baby" with the kids as they sang it in Creole, we played red rover with them after trying to explain and demonstrate how to play. They loved it! Leh Leh fell down and started crying. When I picked him up his twin came over to us and was trying to make him laugh and smile. At that moment I got a glimpse of how Brooke and I do the same exact thing when one of us is hurt or upset. It was so cute to see the amazing bond that those two boys share. It reminded me how being a twin is the biggest blessing from God. You always have a best friend. Although I am missing Brooke terribly, I am so excited for her to come to Haiti and have her God given experience in just 2 days!! Please continue to pray for her as well as she is about to grow in so many ways by coming here.

Beyond All Measure

Ephesians 3:17 "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and how long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

I woke up this morning and thought about how crazy it is that I will be home in one week from today! As I am going on week 5 of this project I am thinking about how much I have learned about the love of Christ here. Being here is hard, but God has shown me that when we become weak, that is when He is able to show us how strong He is. This week is going by so fast and Im just trying to cherish every moment even though I am a little anxious to get home. One little boy named Staniel wrote me a note saying that he is going to be very sad when I go back to America. I have built a relationship with many of the kids after being here for 4 weeks already, they all call me "Camen." It is hard to know that I have less than a week with them. I even got sad when I was waving goodbye to them in the tap tap when we were leaving to go to Port au Prince today. I cant imagine how Im going to feel leaving them on Monday. They have taught me so much about pure love and pure joy.

Love being my angles during their recess

Most precious little boy. He and the little girl on the first picture are brother and sister. 

Do They Know You By Name

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Today we went to an IDP camp. It was one of the most amazing and overwhelming days as I felt the Lord speak to me in ways that I have never felt before. As soon as we entered into the camp, the Haitians started running after the "tap tap" with huge smiles on their faces thinking we had food to give them. It was really hard to watch them keep running after us as we kept driving. When we got off the tap tap more Haitians started gathering around us. We had nothing to give them, all we were there for was to tour the camp and hike up the mountain. As soon as we started hiking, some of the kids and families joined us. This one little boy walked his bike all the way up. I waited for this little girl that was following me to catch up to me. She got the biggest smile on her face when I reached out my hand for her to hold and starting walking with her. As I was getting higher up, holding this little girls hand while looking down at thousands of tents, I just became in awe at what the Lord had called me to experience.
When we got to the top, Aaron shared with us an amazing message about when we interact with the Haitians and the poor, we are interacting with Jesus. It was a beautiful moment as we were looking down at such poverty but at the same time learning about Gods love and His heart for the poor. I felt God presence in an amazing way.

Matthew 25:40 really spoke to my heart and made me realize that we have an opportunity to meet Jesus when we meet and care for the least of these. When we are doing something for them, we are doing something for Jesus as well. Ive learned that we all need eachother. They need our help, but we need them for us to learn about who Jesus is. Seeing the brokeness of Haiti and interacting with the poor is showing me the brokeness in my own life and within myself. We are all impoverished in some way. Being here has made me have a stronger desire for Jesus and has shown me that whether your rich or poor, we all need Him.
God promises us that there will be suffering, but He also promises us that He will always be with us. I was holding the little girls hand again on the way down the mountain and I noticed that her shoes were about 2 sizes too small. They only covered the front part of her foot. I was really sad but I was also comforted when I reminded myself of the promise God gives us. I feel helpless most of the time here. There is so much to do and so much to fix. Today we were challenged with the question, "How do you help?" What does it really look like to have a heart for the poor and invest in their lives? Relationship is the most powerful and fulfilling thing God gives us. Theres more than just giving a hug and passing out rice and beans. The best way we can restore what is broken is through relationship. Are we really going to care enough for the poor to actually build relationships with them and have them know us by name.

Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all of your strength and with all your mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself."

You Are All I Need

After Church with the sweetest Mom and little girl. She kept calling me beautiful after everything I said to her.  

Ephesians 3:20-21 " Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Yesterday was my fourth Sunday here. I cant believe there is only one more week to go. As I was in church, apart me felt sad that I only have one more Haitian church service left, but the other part of me feels so excited to get home and share with everyone what God has done in my life here. There is nothing like watching Haitians praise God. Even though I felt like I was melting from feeling the 110 degree weather, and even though I was extremely uncomfortable during the 3 hour service, I was smiling with joy in my heart as I worshiped God with the Haitians. I love meeting people and holding their children after the services. I know I will miss that. After lunch, I sat against the school underneath the shade with some of the Haitian children and families. Some of the Haitians will hang around after church and stay on the compound for as long as possible until they have to go back to their mud huts. Its so sad to think about but thats why building relationships is so important to them. They loved it when I showed them pictures of my family. So many of the kids were around me playing with my hair, my hands, and just tried to sit as close to me as possible. I was feeling pretty homesick yesterday, which is why it felt so good to recieve so much love from them. When I start missing home and my family, the love that the kids show me makes it all better. Ive learned that we are all one family.

I love this little one. 

Cutest twins ever. They lost both their parents in the earthquake. Its so amazing to watch them interact together. The twin bond is a very special thing. I miss and love you Brookie.

I also walked over to the village yesterday and played with some of the orphans in the childrens home. I played duck duck goose with the cutest kids. Its amazing to see their faces and how hard they laugh over just running after each other. The two twin boys in the picture are orphans. They lost both their parents in the earthquake. I couldnt help but think of Brooke when I was running around with them. They completely reminded me of the bond that Brooke and I share, always sticking together and laughing at each other. I love you Brookie!
I come home in 10 days. Even though Ive hit my peanut butter and jelly sandwitch wall, my cornflakes for breakfast wall, the cold shower wall, always being dirty wall, and the scorching heat wall, I know that I have to cherish every last minute of every day. God is making something beautiful out of everything that I experience. He has stretched me so much and I am so grateful for that. Please continue to pray for me as I start and finish my last week here.

God Bless You, Cam

Ephesians 2:10

Held this baby for hours yesterday

 "For we are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Yesterday I worked at the vision clinic again. After putting lens in the glasses and holding the cutest babies, I was able to sit down and share the gospel with the patients. First we got their information and asked them about their vision, and then we would ask if they knew Jesus Christ. This old man said that he had recieved Christ a long time ago and then fell away but wanted to rededicate his life to Him. It was so amazing to be apart of his renewal. I prayed for him and had a translator with me. Another patient told me that she was already a Christian but wanted me to pray that she would have wisdom to keep following the way of Christ. I had many God moments while being there yesterday and I know that I will never forget them.

Showing them pictures of my family while they wait in line. It was very special. Miss and love you guys!

We couldnt see everyone yesterday. Many people waited for a long time and werent able to be seen. Therefore they didnt get the food that we give the patients on their way out. When we were leaving we had some leftover bags of rice and beans and started giving them to some people. That soon turned into an extremely chaotic experience. While I was in the back of the "tap tap" it was so hard to see people screaming, reaching, and fighting each other for one bag of rice and beans. The hardest part about that was knowing that I was going to be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch on the ride home without any trouble. I didnt really know how to feel, or what to think. When my mind is trying to wrestle with all my thoughts and circumstances I experience, God reminds me to just talk to Him about it. There is a sense of peace that goes over me whenever I do that. Times like those are extremely hard but I know that God is teaching me so much through it.

Pastor Pier talked to the teams last night about storms in our lives. He talked about the places that God will lead us to and what He will allow us to experience. He said, "You will go, and you will return, but there will be rough waters in the journey. God knows that there will be rough patches along the way, but He promises us that He is always with us." God is so good and in these amazing but also challenging days, I am holding tight to the promise He gives us.

"Whatever I require of you is to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Me-wherever I lead"-Jesus Calling.