It Is All For You-Goodbye Haiti.

Hate saying Goodbyes. I love my sweet Camalla!

 Genesis 28:15 "I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land. I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you."

Yesterday was an amazing last day in Haiti. It was so great to start off our last day by worshiping with the Haitians at Church. As I was holding these two precious girls hands, looking at them all dressed up in their cute dresses, I just thanked God for giving me the opportunity to be here. The team went to the front of the church and said a big goodbye! We sang a song in creole in front of everyone. I will never forget that moment of looking at all the haitians singing to God in their language. It seemed not to long ago when we attented our first service and sang "Our God Is Greater." I was trying to cherish every second of the day and take little snap shots in my head of all the moments that humbled me. It was extremely hard to say bye to all the families, and kids after church. I held those little angels for as long as I could yesterday after church and when I went to the village for the last time. It broke my heart to see their faces when I said "Mwe alle deme" ( I leave tomorrow). When I said bye to the kids, I squeezed each of them so hard and told them that I love them and WILL BE BACk. Camalla just kept saying "Wi" (yes) after everything I said. Although I cried a little bit, there was a huge sense of peace that I felt as I reminded myself that God planned when I would come to Haiti and when I would leave as well. I will miss many things and will never forget hearing their sweet voices call me, "Camen." I spent my last night at the compound on the roof looking up at the stars, talking to God about all the emotions that were running through me. As I could see Port au Prince all lite up in the far distance, it was a perfect moment to remember that God makes beautiful things out of dust. He uses broken places and broken people to make beautiful things out of us as well. I am extremely blessed to have had God reveal so many things to me through this incredible journey.

I am now back in America! I dont think it has really hit me yet that I will not be sleeping in the compound tonight, going to the village later today, and seeing my angels. It has been the most beautiful and also challenging 5 weeks of my life. We are all staying in Florida for 2 days for a debriefing-a time to pray, to reflect back on what we experienced, and to discuss how to adjust being back home. Ive already experienced culture shock. The drive from the airport to the hotel was so smooth, I washed my hands with soap and water, I can understand people, and the water is not salty. Its hard to wrap my mind around being surrounded by mud hutts and then in the same day im back in America staying in a 4 star resort. Its a lot to take in, a lot to think about, and a lot of change.

Love this precious boy. 

The devotional out of Jesus Calling could have not been more perfect for what I am feeling today. I wanted to share it with you.
"Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nore before you. Instead focus your attention on Me, your constant companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey. I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldnt bear to see  all your life at once, Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you, Refresh yourself in my company, breathing deep draughts of My presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you, watching over you wherever you go."

You Have Made Me New

2 Corinthians 4:5-9 "For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ our Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let the light shine out of darkness," made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed." 

It is hard to believe that I only have 2 more full days here in Haiti before we go back to Florida for the debriefing. Part of me feels like I have been here forever, and the other part of me feels like it has gone by fast. We have begun the process of saying our goodbyes. Yesterday was the last day to play with the kids during their recess, we will say goodbye to the University students when we go to Port au Prince today for the campus crusade weekly meeting, and we will say goodbye to all the kids and families once we spend a full day with them tomorrow. I am trying to just soak everything in. Its is quite overwhelming. 

Yesterday, we went to Pastor Piers house in Port au Prince and had a pool party. We road in the back of a pick up truck on the way there and back. It was crazy!! We have driven through Port au Prince so many times now throughout these 5 weeks, and everytime we do, I get even more overwhelmed of the things I see. I know God has taught me many things from seeing such poverty and destruction. 

When we got back to the compound I walked to Chambrun. As soon as I entered into the childrens home, the kids ran up to me yelling, "Camen, Camen!" all reaching their arms out for me to hold them. Its crazy to see how much they love you even though you hardly can communicate with them. They are amazing and have touched my heart in more ways than I could have imagined. Those moments make it hard for me to feel ready to leave. But I am reminding myself that God planned when I would come here and when I would leave. His timing is perfect. God has blessed my life in so many ways by bringing me here and He has really used this experience to help shape me into the woman He has called me to be. Please pray for me as I finish out this God given journey. I cant believe my twin sister is coming to Haiti today! Even though we are in such different areas in Haiti, it is amazing to know that we are both here for 2 days. Please pray for her as she is about to start her own experience that will change her life. 

All my love, Cam. 

Unbreakable Love

When I went to the village the other day I showed the twins (NuhNuh and Leh Leh) a picture of Brooke and me. They were so confused at first but then started to understand that she was my twin! It was so cool to show them who my other half is. They looked at the picture for the longest time and carried it around with them the whole time I was there, it was so cute!

The wonderful Levinton and Staniel. 

 Going to the village today was one of the most memorable days I will have. After singing the Justin Beiber song "Baby" with the kids as they sang it in Creole, we played red rover with them after trying to explain and demonstrate how to play. They loved it! Leh Leh fell down and started crying. When I picked him up his twin came over to us and was trying to make him laugh and smile. At that moment I got a glimpse of how Brooke and I do the same exact thing when one of us is hurt or upset. It was so cute to see the amazing bond that those two boys share. It reminded me how being a twin is the biggest blessing from God. You always have a best friend. Although I am missing Brooke terribly, I am so excited for her to come to Haiti and have her God given experience in just 2 days!! Please continue to pray for her as well as she is about to grow in so many ways by coming here.

Beyond All Measure

Ephesians 3:17 "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his spirit in your inner being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and how long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

I woke up this morning and thought about how crazy it is that I will be home in one week from today! As I am going on week 5 of this project I am thinking about how much I have learned about the love of Christ here. Being here is hard, but God has shown me that when we become weak, that is when He is able to show us how strong He is. This week is going by so fast and Im just trying to cherish every moment even though I am a little anxious to get home. One little boy named Staniel wrote me a note saying that he is going to be very sad when I go back to America. I have built a relationship with many of the kids after being here for 4 weeks already, they all call me "Camen." It is hard to know that I have less than a week with them. I even got sad when I was waving goodbye to them in the tap tap when we were leaving to go to Port au Prince today. I cant imagine how Im going to feel leaving them on Monday. They have taught me so much about pure love and pure joy.

Love being my angles during their recess

Most precious little boy. He and the little girl on the first picture are brother and sister. 

Do They Know You By Name

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Today we went to an IDP camp. It was one of the most amazing and overwhelming days as I felt the Lord speak to me in ways that I have never felt before. As soon as we entered into the camp, the Haitians started running after the "tap tap" with huge smiles on their faces thinking we had food to give them. It was really hard to watch them keep running after us as we kept driving. When we got off the tap tap more Haitians started gathering around us. We had nothing to give them, all we were there for was to tour the camp and hike up the mountain. As soon as we started hiking, some of the kids and families joined us. This one little boy walked his bike all the way up. I waited for this little girl that was following me to catch up to me. She got the biggest smile on her face when I reached out my hand for her to hold and starting walking with her. As I was getting higher up, holding this little girls hand while looking down at thousands of tents, I just became in awe at what the Lord had called me to experience.
When we got to the top, Aaron shared with us an amazing message about when we interact with the Haitians and the poor, we are interacting with Jesus. It was a beautiful moment as we were looking down at such poverty but at the same time learning about Gods love and His heart for the poor. I felt God presence in an amazing way.

Matthew 25:40 really spoke to my heart and made me realize that we have an opportunity to meet Jesus when we meet and care for the least of these. When we are doing something for them, we are doing something for Jesus as well. Ive learned that we all need eachother. They need our help, but we need them for us to learn about who Jesus is. Seeing the brokeness of Haiti and interacting with the poor is showing me the brokeness in my own life and within myself. We are all impoverished in some way. Being here has made me have a stronger desire for Jesus and has shown me that whether your rich or poor, we all need Him.
God promises us that there will be suffering, but He also promises us that He will always be with us. I was holding the little girls hand again on the way down the mountain and I noticed that her shoes were about 2 sizes too small. They only covered the front part of her foot. I was really sad but I was also comforted when I reminded myself of the promise God gives us. I feel helpless most of the time here. There is so much to do and so much to fix. Today we were challenged with the question, "How do you help?" What does it really look like to have a heart for the poor and invest in their lives? Relationship is the most powerful and fulfilling thing God gives us. Theres more than just giving a hug and passing out rice and beans. The best way we can restore what is broken is through relationship. Are we really going to care enough for the poor to actually build relationships with them and have them know us by name.

Luke 10:27 "Love the Lord your God with all of your strength and with all your mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself."

You Are All I Need

After Church with the sweetest Mom and little girl. She kept calling me beautiful after everything I said to her.  

Ephesians 3:20-21 " Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Yesterday was my fourth Sunday here. I cant believe there is only one more week to go. As I was in church, apart me felt sad that I only have one more Haitian church service left, but the other part of me feels so excited to get home and share with everyone what God has done in my life here. There is nothing like watching Haitians praise God. Even though I felt like I was melting from feeling the 110 degree weather, and even though I was extremely uncomfortable during the 3 hour service, I was smiling with joy in my heart as I worshiped God with the Haitians. I love meeting people and holding their children after the services. I know I will miss that. After lunch, I sat against the school underneath the shade with some of the Haitian children and families. Some of the Haitians will hang around after church and stay on the compound for as long as possible until they have to go back to their mud huts. Its so sad to think about but thats why building relationships is so important to them. They loved it when I showed them pictures of my family. So many of the kids were around me playing with my hair, my hands, and just tried to sit as close to me as possible. I was feeling pretty homesick yesterday, which is why it felt so good to recieve so much love from them. When I start missing home and my family, the love that the kids show me makes it all better. Ive learned that we are all one family.

I love this little one. 

Cutest twins ever. They lost both their parents in the earthquake. Its so amazing to watch them interact together. The twin bond is a very special thing. I miss and love you Brookie.

I also walked over to the village yesterday and played with some of the orphans in the childrens home. I played duck duck goose with the cutest kids. Its amazing to see their faces and how hard they laugh over just running after each other. The two twin boys in the picture are orphans. They lost both their parents in the earthquake. I couldnt help but think of Brooke when I was running around with them. They completely reminded me of the bond that Brooke and I share, always sticking together and laughing at each other. I love you Brookie!
I come home in 10 days. Even though Ive hit my peanut butter and jelly sandwitch wall, my cornflakes for breakfast wall, the cold shower wall, always being dirty wall, and the scorching heat wall, I know that I have to cherish every last minute of every day. God is making something beautiful out of everything that I experience. He has stretched me so much and I am so grateful for that. Please continue to pray for me as I start and finish my last week here.

God Bless You, Cam

Ephesians 2:10

Held this baby for hours yesterday

 "For we are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Yesterday I worked at the vision clinic again. After putting lens in the glasses and holding the cutest babies, I was able to sit down and share the gospel with the patients. First we got their information and asked them about their vision, and then we would ask if they knew Jesus Christ. This old man said that he had recieved Christ a long time ago and then fell away but wanted to rededicate his life to Him. It was so amazing to be apart of his renewal. I prayed for him and had a translator with me. Another patient told me that she was already a Christian but wanted me to pray that she would have wisdom to keep following the way of Christ. I had many God moments while being there yesterday and I know that I will never forget them.

Showing them pictures of my family while they wait in line. It was very special. Miss and love you guys!

We couldnt see everyone yesterday. Many people waited for a long time and werent able to be seen. Therefore they didnt get the food that we give the patients on their way out. When we were leaving we had some leftover bags of rice and beans and started giving them to some people. That soon turned into an extremely chaotic experience. While I was in the back of the "tap tap" it was so hard to see people screaming, reaching, and fighting each other for one bag of rice and beans. The hardest part about that was knowing that I was going to be able to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwitch on the ride home without any trouble. I didnt really know how to feel, or what to think. When my mind is trying to wrestle with all my thoughts and circumstances I experience, God reminds me to just talk to Him about it. There is a sense of peace that goes over me whenever I do that. Times like those are extremely hard but I know that God is teaching me so much through it.

Pastor Pier talked to the teams last night about storms in our lives. He talked about the places that God will lead us to and what He will allow us to experience. He said, "You will go, and you will return, but there will be rough waters in the journey. God knows that there will be rough patches along the way, but He promises us that He is always with us." God is so good and in these amazing but also challenging days, I am holding tight to the promise He gives us.

"Whatever I require of you is to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with Me-wherever I lead"-Jesus Calling.

How Beautiful You Are

I am learning something new everyday here. As I wake up every morning knowing that I am in Haiti I just thank God for calling me here. Everyday has its challenges, but God still shows me the beauty that comes out of the hard times. As I think back to wahoo bay, and look at the sunsets on the roof, and hold many children and see their smiling faces, it reminds me just how beautiful Gods plans are. We have no idea where God is going to take us, the places he will lead us to, and what He will call us to experience. His plans are perfect and He is such a majestic and beautiful designer of all things.

Wahoo Bay last Friday

  John 10:10 "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Sunset taken from the roof

Miss and Love My Family

Fixing Our Eyes On Him

Yesterday I volunteered to join the "GAIN" team (Global Aide Network) and work with them at the vision clinic. It was one of the best experiences I have had here. We drove about 45 minutes in the tap tap to work in this tent on the mountain that was surrounded by hundreds of other tents that people live in. When we got there, there were about 60 people already waiting to be seen. They sure needed the extra hands. We set up "stations" in the tent. When it was their turn to be seen, they would first sit down and hear about the gospel. We gave them each the "gospel bracelets and decribed what each color represented. Then they would get their eyes checked to see what kind of glasses they needed. On their way out we handed each person a hygene packed, sunglasses, and a bag of rice and beans. Even though the heat was scorching and we had to use the bathroom in a bucket on the "tap tap" it was so amazing to witness all that God did in just 4 hours of being there!

As so many people were waiting, I got to go around and talk with them and hold the children. The moms would just wave me over to them and give me their baby to hold. It was amazing to hold many babies, watch the haitians hear about the gospel, see them get glasses so they can see, and have them walk out with food and things they need all at the same time under one small tent. I saw Gods hands working in so many ways yesterday and I am so blessed to have been apart of that! It makes me want to become an eye doctor and do medical missions!

We are going into Port au Prince today and I am sharing my testimony at the University! Please pray for me! 2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I love my family!

The Work of Your Hands

Most beautiful little girl

 Luke 1:76-79 "And you my child will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace."

The Haitians lining up for lunch!

God is creating something new in me everyday here. I keep praying everyday that His spirit will flow through mine to bless others. Its been so amazing to watch how God turns trials into blessings and how when we live in His presence we are permeated with love, joy, and peace.
Yesterday during the church service I was writing in my journal and the one of the pictures of Brooke and me fell out. The little boys that were sitting beside me picked it up and were so excited to see it. They just got these huge smiles on their faces. You could tell they were a little confused, they kept looking at me and then the picture, trying to figure out which one was me in the photo. I told them that that was my twin sister Brooke. They were so interested and started passing it down to all the other kids in front of them. It was so cute and a very special moment as they got to see who the most important person in my life is. I love you Brookie and miss you everyday!!!!

God Given Challenges

In the most challenging days, in the hardest things to see, and in the broken places we will go, we must remember one thing-God holds the world in His hands.

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song." Isaiah 12:2 

That was a verse that I had to keep reminding myself of as I experienced one of the hardest and most challenging days of my life. Driving in a hot tiny bus with 27 people for 2 hours to Port au Prince and 2 hours back made me and a lot of people feel sick, and also driving through the most broken place is what led me to having a very hard day. As I was drenched in sweat, and feeling horrible, I looked outside the window and saw a baby boy getting bathed in the street from the water that was gathered up on curb. The families torn up tent was right beside them and the baby was crying. At that moment, my heart literally hurt. It made me realize how selfish I can be sometimes. Here I am thinking about how miserable I am feeling, and at that same time I was witnessing the most unreal destruction. Throughout the rest of the ride I was wrestling in my mind with how I was feeling and what I was seeing. As I was trying to wrap my mind around everything I just needed to remember to take all my thoughts and broken heart to God. He really is the only one that understands everything.

Dancing!
We met at the campus crusade "office" and experienced one of the campus crusade weekly meetings. Many of the students shared a message. Sharing takes a lot of time because everything has to be translated. Its hard to even understand the translator sometimes but thats when I pray for patience and for understanding. It really is amazing to hear what is going on in the students hearts. They are so wise, so on fire for God and they are so passionate when they speak. I have so much to learn from them. Towards the end as it had been 8 hours since we had eaten and had been sitting in the hottest room, God was challenging me to still keep my focus on Him. He really pushed me to find him in the difficult situations yesterday. I really experienced an amazing moment when the whole room held hands and prayed our own prayers out loud. It was so cool to be holding two Haitian girls hands on either side of me and listen to everyone pray out loud in english and in creole. At that moment God really did humble me and lifted my spirit. I also got in a much happier mood when I danced with one of the college students to praise songs! They love to dance! It was a little embarrassing but so much fun! He couldnt stop thanking me for dancing with him, it was so sweet. 

Some of the tents that people live in. 

It was so good to talk with Brooke and Sam last night for a little bit. I was getting really homesick yesterday and it was such a blessing to hear their voice and encouraging words. Hard days like yesterday make me feel ready to go home soon. I know I still have quite a while here so its always a blessing to be encouraged from my family back home knowing that God is going to do amazing things in me these next 2 weeks. I know that not every day is going to be easy and go smoothly, but I am reminded that God plans out every detail of my days and I can face dificulites along the way confidently in His amazing strength. I am thankful for Gods promise of always being with us. I am blessed for the friends I have made here and how at the end of the day we can laugh about the hard times we go through together. Please continue to pray for me and for Haiti! I love my family. 

Beach Day In Haiti!!!

Wahoo Bay! 

Yesterday we went to Wahoo Bay! It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever been to in my entire life. We started off the day at the beach by going snorkeling. That was quite an adventure in itself as about twelve people all hopped onto this one small wooden boat and had to balance it out. We went about a mile out and there wasnt enough gear for everyone. We all took turns from treading water to snorkeling. As I was in the middle of the crystal clear water with the most insane mountains surrounding me I just kept thinking to myself how crazy it is that im in Haiti, snorkeling at the most beautiful beach. Although I didnt see anything, it was so worth the experience to be out in the water and remind myself how blessed I am to be here. All day I kept thinking how amazing and beautiful God is. He designed everythifng!
The ride there was beautiful but it was hard to see some of the villages and people on the streets. When I was at the beach I couldnt believe that I was at the same place that is filled with so much poverty and destruction. We drove past where the people were buried from the earthquake, and we drove past hundreds and hundreds of tents and tiny homes all lined up on the mountains. As I was driving past all that, I just reminded myself that even in the brokeness God is still God and He makes beautiful things!

Love the App Crew! 

Although none of us wanted to leave the beach it was awesome to get back in time to see the Sunset! It was so beautiful! I took 260 pictures just yesterday. Cant wait to show you more!

We are headed to Port au Prince againt today to work witht he campus crusade students!

What Faith Can Do...

In the "Tap Tap" with our Sodas we bought from the grocery store in Port au Prince 

 Ephesians 6:19 "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." 

God really spoke to me through this verse yesterday as we went to the University in Port au Prince and shared the gospel to the college students. I had never experienced anything like it. It was so amazing to watch God show up and work in us so that people far from God would come to know him. It wasnt easy, especially with the language barrier, it was one of the most challenging experiences, but I knew I wasnt alone. Its even hard to step out and have the courage to share the gospel at my own college campus. But its a completely different challenge when your in a another culture. Faith was what got me through it and is what led me and my friend Read to get Johnson (the guy in the picture) to accept Christ yesterday.

Read and Me with Johnson after he recieved Christ

Right when we arrived, we gathered in this room with Pastor Sony, the president, and the secretary of the University and our translators. After we introduced ourselves one by one and sang a song of worship, we were on our own to go up to any one of the students and talk to them. Two of my friends and I started talking to this one guy (he spoke some english). He was a Chrisitan, and he kept saying "give me advice, I want advice from you." He wasnt very specific so I began to tell him what God has been teaching me over the past 2 years and gave him advice on trusting God with everything you have even in the hardships. After I was done talking with him, two other college students waved me over to them. I didnt have a translator with me so communicating with them was very challenging. At first they just wanted my number, when I said no, they asked if It was because I had a boyfriend. I said, "yes, he is back in the States" (haha thought you would laugh at that Samuel). One of the guys left and I asked Johnson what he believed in. He said he only believed in himself. After I started asking many questions and telling him who Jesus is, he said to me that he didnt think he was worthy enough to recieve Jesus love. At that point my friend Read came over and we both were talking with to him. As the conversation started getting deeper, Pastor Sony came over to be our translator. We went through the four spiritual laws with him. We gave him the booklet that was in Creole and we had an english one. As we asked him what each verse meant to him you could totally see God working in his heart. We asked him if he would like to invite Jesus into his heart. After he said YES, Pastor Sony prayed the prayer with him. We then all held hands and I prayed over Johnson and prayed for the incredible journey he is now on with God.

I had never experienced something like this in my whole life. For God to use me and Read to lead Johnson to Christ is the greatest blessing. What this experience taught me is that with God nothing is impossible. We cant do these things alone. It has nothing to do with us but it has everything to do with God. He is your best teammate. It was so awesome to share this experience with Pastor Sony and Read. Before we left Port au Prince one of the Haitian leaders from Campus Crusade led us in a song called "Trust and Obey." We must trust God with everything, and obey and follow what He has called us to do.
 With love because He is love, Cam

Blessed to Bless

Genesis 12:2-3

"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you. I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse, and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you." 

Going to Port au Prince today to share the gospel with many college students at the University. Please pray for me and for the team as we step out, share our stories, and try to bring students to Christ. We have been having evangelism training all week to prepare for this amazing experience we are going to have. I am so excited and I know God is all around me and His power and love will work in us today.

A Sweet Monday In Haiti

MY sweet girl Camalla

Yesterday we started a new task for work. The girls worked in the garden and pulled out weeds while the boys went in the chicken coop and dug up poop. It was so fun to work right next to where the kids had school because during their recess we got to take a break and play with them! Its quite overwhelming and very chaotic when about 100 kids are all wanting to be held and played with, but I must say it is a very beautiful thing to be apart of. We were all getting tackeled. Its amazing to see how jealous the kids get of each other when your only holding one of them. This little girl got punched in the throat by a little boy because he wanted me to hold him and not her. I brought her into the school and held her for about 30 minutes while she cried. It was so sad. As I was holding her while the other kids were climbing on me and circling around me screaming "photo" my heart started to break as I thought about how all these kids want is affection. 

When we got back to work in the garden, some of the older Haitians just grabbed some shovels and started helping. It was so great to watch all of us working together. They have the biggest hearts and are the hardest workers. It was very humbling to see how much they love to serve. I met this one 19 year old girl. She was one of the sweetest people and we both started singing "Forever God is Faithful" as we worked together. It amazing to watct Haitians sing, they have the most joyful smiles on their faces and they love to sing praises to God all throughout the day.
I was so happy when I saw my little girl Camalla outside the fence in the garden. I gave her one look and smiled at her, and she started running to me and just jumped in my arms. I could hold that little girl for days :)

I am excited to see what God has planned for today. I know He is all around me and His presence with me is a promise. Please continue to pray for me and for the team!

You Are Making Me New

Church was amazing today. Seeing Haitians worship God is unlike anything Ive ever seen before. God is so amazing. We were all singing to Jesus saying over and over again, "Nothing is impossible for you, you hold the world in your hands!" It felt so good to sing that to God as I have experienced feeling like its impossible to communicate witht he haitians and impossible to fix the brokeness here. When I go through port au prince and when I go to the village and see the kids and what people live in my heart just wants to change everything for them. I just want to help instantly. But I was reminded today that only God can fix things and can make beauty come out of brokeness. With him nothing is impossible. He holds Haiti in His hands even though its hard to see that sometimes. I know God can keep anyone at perfect peace when we stay close to Him
As I was worshiping God at church, It was crazy to think that my family and friends were at church back in the states praising the same amazing God! God is a big God, He is everywhere. Even though I am what feels like an entire world apart from my family, I am growing in love through Gods word with my Haitian brothers and sisters. I realized when I was in that room that we are all one family and that the one thing we all have in common is that we are all growing together as God is working in each of our lives. Thats such a beautiful thing.

After church we distributed rice and beans, and hygene packets to the Haitians. Durning this week of work, were stuffed bags of food, and made the hygene packets. There were times when I was bored and felt like I could have been doing something so much better, but then today really showed me that what we were doing really made a big difference. It was really cool to hand out what our team has been working on this whole week. There were guards directing people where to line up. It was difficult to watch how rough the guards have to be with the woman and children but I know that without them it would have been so chaotic. It broke my heart to watch people line up so close together and push each other around a little bit just to get one bag of rice and beans and at the same time I knew that I was just 30 steps away from being in an air conditioned kitchen about to be fed yummy food. Im still trying to wrestle with that. Why I am so blessed? I know I need to welcome challenging opportunities to trust God knowing that no set of circumstances is too much for me to handle.
This little girl held onto me for the longest time when I was done handing out the hygene packets. Everytime I would put her down she just held on to my neck and wouldlnt let her feet touch the ground. She was the cutest thing and I felt like we just had an instant connection. It was hard leaving her to go have lunch, but I told her that I would come see her at the village soon!

God is teaching me so many things. Although I miss home sometimes, Haiti is feeling like home more and more everyday. Please pray for me as I continue this journey for a little less than 4 more weeks!

The cutest little girl ever!

I love my family with all my heart! Thinking about you!

Catch Up

The best way to summarize these past 3 very rainy days is to tell you that God has been testing my patience and has given me circumstances where I just have to trust him with my whole heart. I have kind of been having a hard time in feeling helpless and useless sometimes.
I thought I would share with you this of the highlights of this week so far-On friday, I went to the village with some of my friends. As I was walking into the village, I stepped in the huge pile of mud and my shoe and foot was covered. I started to walk again and then the little girl that was holding my hand stopped me, got down on her knees and started to scrape the mud off my shoe with her finger. It was one of the most humbling and eye opening moments. The reason it was so beautiful to watch that is because it gave me such a vivid and amazing picture of who Jesus is. The little girl didnt know me, but she served me. Those precious moments are when my heart breaks and I pray for God to help use those moments to become more like him.

James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith developes perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

What an amazing reminder that was to read yesterday morning as the day really tested my patience and my trust in difficult circumstances. Experiences like these teach you so much about being flexible. The plan of going to port au prince got canceled due to the rain, so instead of interacting with college students it was another day of work. I worked in a swamp yesterday. Now, if you know me, you know that I am the last person in the world to work in a swamp for the day. With spiders everywhere, mosquitos attacking you, being told to not freak out about snakes, and your feet sinking into the mud in the rain, I really needed the Lord to help me have a good attitude.
Im learning that people dont always grow from an amazing experience. They grow the most in times of discomfort, times of frustration, dissapointment, and times of uncertainty. Even though I have not seen the kids that much and cant really communicate with the haitians other than saying "hello, how are you? and how old are you?" I know God is teaching me, that I only need Him. Even though I may spend a whole day just moving boxes, I am praying that God would help me see situations through His pure and perfect eyes.

All Creation Will Proclaim..."You are Lord!"

With the Birthday Girl in the "tap tap." What a rewarding place to spend your 21st!

"For I am the Lord, your God  who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." Isaiah 41:13

Today we went into Port au Prince. I woke up just thinking about what this day was going to be like and the challenges it would bring me. I opened up my devotional and thought that I would share with you what I read this morning-God is SO AMAZING!

"I AM INVOLVED in each moment of your life. I have carefully mapped out every inch of your journey through this day, even though much of it may feel haphazard. Because the world is in a fallen condition, things always seem to be unraveling around the edges. Expect to find trouble in this day. At the same time, trust that My way is perfect, even in the midst of such messy imperfection. Stay conscious of Me as you go through this day, remembering that I never leave your side. Let the Holy Spirit guide you step by step, protecting you from unnecessary trials and equipping you to get through whatever must be endured. As you trudge through the sludge of this fallen world, keep your mind in heavenly places with Me. Thus the Light of My Presence shines on you, giving you Peace and Joy that circumstances cannot touch."

Now that I am laying in bed processing what being in Port au Prince was like, I realize more and more how bad I needed to read that today. We rode in the "tap-tap" for 2 hours through Port au Prince to get to the Campus Crusade office.  When I say two hours, that was two hours of driving through the most poor, broken, crazy, and messy place I have ever been to in my life. I couldnt believe what my eyes were seeing as I was looking out at all the destruction from the earthquake, seeing hundreds of tents that people live in, and watching people lay in the trash on the ground starving. All I can say is that being in Port au Prince for just one day has built up very deep questions in my mind and has re-shaped my perspective on a lot of things in life. We had a little break of rest and peace when we got dropped off to meet with the Pastor of Campus Crusade at the University there.
A very special moment happend to me. One of the University students came up to me with the biggest smile on his face telling me about how he found Jesus. He said to me over and over again, "I am free, I am free, through the love of Jesus Christ." It was so humbling to hear that as he was standing in the poorest and most broken place. Only knowing my name, he then asked me what my story was. In his very broken english he said, "How did you did you come to know Jesus?" It was so great to share our stories with one another and help each other out with the language barrier.

ME AND TWO OF THE UNIV. STUDENTS!

The ride back to the compound was another adventure in itself as we drove back for 2 hours in the pouring down rain. There were some laughs as all 26 of us were getting thrown around from the insane driving and bumpy roads (that was the physical draining part). There were times today when I was complaining in my head from being tired, soaking wet, and getting a little car sick. But then my selfish mind slapped me in the face when I took a moment and looked out of the bus and saw people asking for a dollar and food. I have nothing to complain about. I felt very frustrated and confused today as I was looking at Port au Prince and asking myself why things have to get this bad.  As one of the guys waved and said "Bonswa" to this one mother through the bus, she held her stomach and pointed to her baby saying that they were hungry. My heart hurt so bad. I was feeling their brokeness and just wanted to get out of the bus and help. It was hard to just drive past all this and not be able to do anything. I felt a huge sense of helplessness.

God brought a little peace to my mind when we got back to the compound. As I was about to go on a run with some of my friends, the kids were  getting out of school. The kids grabbed my hand and I let go after a while and started running. They thought it was a game and started running after me. It was so funny. This one little girl wouldnt let go of me the whole time and I ended up walking them to their village from school and got to see some of their homes and say hey to some of their families. Ill never forget doing that.
God has challenged me and the team in a huge way today. The only thing there is to do in the process of trying to understand everything is just to PRAY about it and trust that God is sovereign. He uses our frustration, our sadness, our circumstances, and uses the times that we dont understand anything to help shape us to be MORE LIKE HIM!